Mababalagoong ka, Sokie!

My count down begins... 18 days to go and I'm home!

"Mababalagoong ka, Sokie!"

Friends here warn me that I will be in debt, so deep-a-debt after my 30-days vacation in the Philippines.

Of course, I would not permit this to happen to me that's why I'm blogging! I am telling everyone that I am a visitor and therefore deserve to be "treated" and not the one paying the bills all the time.

So far, I already got 477 views on my homecoming blog; and last Sunday, Mhel saw me in church and said she enjoyed reading my blogs. I encouraged Mhel to respond to my blog or to my facebook posting because I intend to write a journal-book on this particular homecoming experience.

Allow me to re-articulate the very nature of my blog:

Sokie's Homecoming 2012 Blog started as a response to a question: Why is it that Balikbayans [homecomers] are always expected to pay the bills?

This blog has started in mid-February 2012 during my trip preparation and would end when I come back to California on May 1st.

This aims to:
- chronicle my journey in the light of the phenomenon of feminization of international labor economics and it's impact on Filipino families;
- generate public opinion to help me counter-the-prevailing culture of balikbayan spending;
- share my first-hand experience how I am able to manage my $1,000.00 only budget for my 30-days Philippines vacation;
- learn lesson and share better informed choices and decisions on migration and homecoming from my own experience.

So the BIG QUESTION is still on the air: Mababalagoong nga ba ako?

Taken at Chang Rai, Thailand October 8, 1998.

Please let me hear your stories, opinions, suggestions... there are no right or wrong answers. As Rumi said: "there is a world out there where there is no right or wrong... and I will meet you there!

"Change your thoughts, change your life"- The Great Wisdom of Tao Te Ching

"Change your thoughts, change your life"- The Great Wisdom of Tao Te Ching

Today, I decided to shift my focus on ABUNDANCE.

Pamela Spiszman: my LOA Law of Attraction Guru with Sez 

It was my boss Pamela Spiszman who taught me LOA [Law of Attraction] for the very first time in 2004.

So instead of focusing my blog on "limitations" I choose to shift my mind, consciousness and energy on INFINITE ABUNDANCE that our Mother Universe provides to ALL -- to the degree that One is ready for it, to the degree that I am ready for it!

Today, I decided to no longer focus on the limitations of my $1,000.00 budget but to its POWER to provide joy and happiness for others.

I had been on a spending-spree since January, I confess.  Filling up my 3 balikbayan jumbo boxes is a lot of money, a lot of energy in motion [emotion] because each item I put inside the box is a thought that whoever will receive it will certainly make him or her happy;  each item inside my jumbo balikbayan box is an expression of my love, my gratitude...

... for I am able to share... because I have something to share
... for I am able to give back something... because I also have received

Life is a never-ending cycle of giving and receiving...

The Law of Abundance

Life is Good!

Today, I choose to focus my journey on ABUNDANCE.

Instead of focusing on the limitations of my $1,000.00 vacation budget, I would focus on the blessings, the power, the positive energy this budget potentially offers...

It is true that money can not buy happiness but it certainly would make my journey smooth!

It was my boss Pam Spiszman who taught the LOA: Law of Attraction for the first time in 2004. Pam said, "Sokie, whatever your mind conceives, manifests!"

And true enough, ever since I applied LOA in every aspect of my life, my life has changed dramatically!

And so from now on, I would focus my MIND on my DESIRED results of my homecoming 2012 journey!

As of today, I have three respondents to my Facebook link who said they would come and visit me at my mother's home in Bulacan in April! It's the Law of Attraction at work: Cesar Dela Cruz, Clio Soriano, Janet Dela Cruz Rigor -- thank you for your affirmative response and action. I look forward to seeing you at home in April!

The truth is for those of you who replied on the negative mode: the more that I am challenged that this LOA would turn-over doubts, fears, anxieties into positive creative energies that would surpass any monetary measures of coming-back-home... for home is where the heart is... for Homle is where The Love Is!

Balikbayan: A Counter-Culture Movement

Balik - verb: come back

bayan - noun: town

literal meaning: back home; homecoming

My own definition of a balikbayan is a person who has been to a foreign land, either for work or residence;  and comes back home for a visit or a vacation; or one who has retired from working on a foreign land and comes back home eventually to retire and stay for certain period of time or permanently.

One of my blog readers posted this question: "How would you counter the prevailing mass culture that a balikbayan should pay all the bills while on a vacation in the Philippines?"

Florence has stayed in the Philippines for two months. She had not been home for 18 years. In the middle of her vacation in the Philippines, she called her sister in California, "Napiang na ko!" [I have been crippled!].

Pilar just came back two weeks ago for a three-weeks stay in the Philippines. She complained that every move in the Philippines is expense. "You are a nurse from America? You must be earning millions of dollars!" straight on her face, a woman in the market exclaimed to her.

There is a prevailing mass culture that when one goes home from abroad as a balikbayan, he/she 'should' pay ALL the bills: breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, party, movies, shopping, outing; literally everything that a balikbayan does for herself plus the entire family, village -- he/she should pay for everything!

I asked Florence, 'then why did you pay?' "Because no one wants to pay!" There is a silent culture that the balikbayan is "obligated" to pay for everything!

So how would I counter this [silent] culture that I would be paying the bills during my 30-days vacation in April 1-30? Here's an initial list of what I thought; please feel free to add your creative ideas:

1. blogging that I am on a shoe-string-vacation budget so people will no longer expect that I will pay the bills!

2. giving all my PhP42,000.00 to my "treasurer" less airport taxes and terminal fees [around PhP2,000] and just stick with my budget;

3. safekeeping of my credit card to my "treasure" that credit card use is only for emergency purposes;

4. stay at home

5. invite friends at home, instead of setting a date in a restaurant or mall

6. sticking to my agenda that I came home just for my 3 children & mother & siblings [core family] only

7. just smile when someone tells me i have to pay

8. do not bring cash whenever and wherever

9. pack my own sandwiches & alkaline water

10. tell directly that I just loaned my airplane ticket and I am in debt and can not afford to spend outside of my budget

11. YOUR OPINION MATTERS... any other ideas would be very much appreciated!

How to counter the culture that the Balikbayan should pay the bills?

Florence intended to have a two-months vacation in the Philippines. In the middle of her vacation, she called her sister in California, "Napiang na 'ko!" [I am crippled!].

Pilar just came back in California after three weeks in the Philippines. "Bawat kilos mo, gastos!" [Every move is expense!] People expect that the balikbayan would pay for all the bills.

"Spending is in the air" is how I see the prevailing culture of balikbayan in the Philippines.

When a balikbayan goes home either for a vacation or emergency situation or for permanent residence, everybody expects that he or she has a never-ending supply of money to spend!

So how do I counter this prevailing [silent] culture of balikbayan?

Initially, this is how I intended to do it:

1. stick to my agenda that I am coming home first and foremost for my 3 children & core family;
2. stick to my budget of $1000.00 - I will give my money to my treasurer less airport taxes and terminal fees and let them budget my money
3. deposit my credit card to my treasure with a strict note that credit card is for emergency purposes only
4. stay at home, stay at home, stay at home!
5. when going out, pack sandwiches and alkaline water
6. take the least minimum public transportation only
7. invite friends, relatives at home rather than meet in restaurants, malls, etc.
8. shopping is out of my agenda
9. i am having diarrhea, therefore, i should not eat out!
10. YOUR OPINION, IDEAS ARE WELCOME...

Grateful Cheers to all of my Facebook friends who have provided time to "Like" and "Comment" about my Homecoming2012 my blog link!

So far, these are the tips they have given me:
1. stay at home
2. do not shop; only window shopping
3. do not eat in restaurants
4. pack lunches, snacks, do not drink soda but water
5. bring toilet paper anywhere
6. do not go places where there are entrance fees; malls and some public parks are free
7. tell friends, relatives to come and visit me at home.

Before, I told myself, I will not go home but will wait for my children to come and join me here in California where we can bond together after years of separation. I left home in July 2000 when my son Anto was 10; daughter Pol was 8; and son Ixtlan Pax was 6 under the care of Ate Fe.

Now, Anto is an RN at 23; Pol is graduating from college at 21; and Pax a freshman college at 17; and Ate Fe, same age as I am at 50 is retiring and going back home to Bicol after raising my children for over 12 years.

I am going home to bond with my children, mother, siblings, my core-family. I also desire to see my friends,former classmates.

So far, here are the things I have done in preparation for my trip back home:

1. booked my trip since January 2012;
2. sent 3 jumbo balikbayan boxes for my pasalubong; the 2 to be opened when I got home on April 2nd; 3. exchanged timeshare with Interval International for my 7-days exclusive bonding with my 3 children [a gift from Carmela]; 4. requested by PRESS ID from FAPCLA [Filipino-American Press Club of Los Angeles]; wearing my PRESS ID at the NAIA [Ninoy Aquino International Airport] hopefully will make my airport exit smooth without inserting dollar bills in my passport during airport check-out;
4. arranged hitched-ride trip with friends Cesar and Gerry to my townhome Guimba, Nueva Ecija to visit my father and grandfather's grave site; and side trip to Asingan, Pangasinan;
5. attend my daughter Pol's college graduation [still waiting for the actual ceremonies date];
6. arranged Andia Family reunion on Easter Sunday hosted by my Godmother TitaLa;

TBA [To Be Arranged] events in Manila:
1. bonding with children, ex-husband Niel and his girl friend Irma at Irma's vacation home in Tagaytay City;
2. half-day exclusive bonding with Dr Vicky Narciso-Apuan in Miriam College
3. bonding time with BFF Merci Paredes & Philippine Daily Inquirer editor Esther Dipasupil;
4. all-star cast reunion of Bumbulaklak, play I have written in 1993, mounted thrice at the UP [University of the Philippines] Theater and UP College of Music Auditorium [written by Sokie, theme music by Ryan Cayabyab, sang my Nonoy Zuniga];
5. a visit to my BFF Lola Sela Bungangera at home or DZRH Radio station;
6. List of friends I desire to see [my list for my eyes only to prevent expectations and disappointments].

So for all my beloved friends, classmates, relatives who would like to see me, you are all welcome to visit me at my mother's home in Pleasant Hills, San Jose Del Monte City in Bulacan, Philippines. I will bring my karaoke set so we can sing together and exchange stories.

And oh, by the way, I still need to go to Downtown LA Chinatown to buy a set of mahjong tiles to bring home and keep my family busy for the rest of my vacation days at my mother's home.

Actually, my April 1-30 itinerary includes air travel to and from Los Angeles international airport. This week, I am filling-up another jumbo balikbayan box to be sent via Alas cargo. I have kept all the receipts for accurate financial report once my 30-days vacation in the Philippines is over. One thing that I would like to prevent to happen as a result of my vacation is that I would be buried in credit card debts when I get back to California on the first of May 2012!

Your Opinion Matters: Surviving 30-days in the Philippines



The best part of my 50th birthday blessings is that I "can" come home to see my children again after 12 years!
Thank you Pam & Kim for your unconditional, non-judgmental love; and making this possible for me!

 Wow!

I got 3-Likes; 12-Comments from facebook friends from my blog yesterday:
Will I survive a 30-days vacation in the Philippines on a $1,000.00 shoestring budget? Here's the tally:

1- Yes "Kaya mo yan!" [You can do it!] from my good friend Vicky Narciso Apuan

1 - Conditional Yes! "provided I use my credit card" from my kumare/godmother of my son Virgie Cobe Rendon

5 - No: a BIG NO, "kulang" [not enough]; would just be at the airport and at home from: Janet Dela Cruz Rigor, Fernando Pautin, Helen Angie Sapiandante, Jesusa Pautin Tan, Bernadette T. Cortez

2- It Depends! - how I handle my money; how I plan my activities from Vicky Antallan, Valentinita Talens

1-Question: How many relatives do I have there? from Dr Lynette Santos Senar

3-Likes: Prudencio Andres, Danny Recente, Irynn Alcantara Abano

Before this blog goes anywhere, allow me to get back as to the "Why" am I doing this blog?

1. to have fun;

2. I desire to generate as much opinion from fellow "vacationers", journers, tourists, pilgrims who had been to the Philippines for a trip, vacation for any other reasons;

3. to probe: is it possible or not [to be able to survive with a $1000.00 for a 30-days vacation in the Philippines]?;

4. to provide a venue for public discussion on the prevailing culture of being a "balikbayan" [homecomer] in the Philippines

Your opinion matters to me, whatever is in your mind, just say it, express it freely! There wouldn't be any judgment whatsover... the ultimate goal is for us to exchange ideas, enjoy our varied, diverse opinion, tolerate each other's wild ideas, brainstorm -- there is no right or wrong answer!

Sige na [come one]!